Creative Regeneration by Sarah Luczaj
Your own energy, your presence. You start to get a sense of a base, a kind of inner sense which isn't the thoughts. Before, around and within them, you can grab a few seconds of freedom. You can learn how to return to base, and to strengthen your returning muscles. It's like a daily workout for your consciousness.
Also, you get the opportunity to feel genuinely fed up of that thought- compulsion and the repetitive contents, to get a sense of pointlessness and waste in your gut that acts as a natural motivation to stay where you are and not go running off with the thoughts.
The second major drain on internal energy is what you do with your feelings – either running with them, becoming absorbed and controlled by them - losing touch with base once more - or trying to change or suppress them so as not to suffer shame. You may even attempt to delete them altogether. All kinds of addictions can help with this.
Suppression of feelings requires massive quantities of energy, as emotions are such physical events.
change, suppress or delete
You may delete feelings selectively, say only at work, or only when the kids are around, or only allow certain feelings (never anger, or never desire, for example). This has a lot to do with cultural sanctionings and conditionings too, and the survival interests linked to them. Women carry a long historical tradition of not showing anger or desire, for example, and it has been more than our lives are worth to break with that tradition. We carry these historical memories, consciously or not. And as feelings are such a natural and physical part of our being in the world, as much as breathing, not allowing them free awareness or flow of some kind is a major energy, health, joy and creativity blocker.
The habit of trying to not let feelings out may lead you to feel that if you did there would be a massive explosion or disintegration. This is just an effect of the pressure that's built up.
Allowing your feelings – all of them, or just that particular one you don't want, to be here as they are, will really not kill you, but the only way to find that out is to take the risk.
Regularity's important when it comes to meditation, as it is when training muscles. The occasional day off does no harm, but the build-up effect if you continue every day really accumulates. So if you try and sit down every day and meditate, giving yourself a small deadline, like 5 minutes, you'll soon feel what happens when you start to actually crave a little bit more.
Finding a quiet place helps, and making yourself as comfortable as possible. You can also incorporate some ritual elements, to concentrate your intention and make positive associations that reinforce the power of the whole experience. Lighting a candle is always good, incense too, if you like it.
position in life is everything
To start with, just take care to get into a good position. Once you do, you should immediately feel some small, subtle change in energy flow.
Sit cross-legged, propped up on a cushion if you can manage it, so your knees land on the floor and your hands lie in your lap, one cupped in the other. If you feel like it, move your hands where they want to be, maybe resting on your belly, or over your heart. This tends to create/increase the feeling of energy flow, safety, and home. If you can't sit on the floor, or cross your legs, then sit on a chair. Keep your spine straight, without pressure or strain, but using your full attention.
Attention can accomplish many things, without pressure or tension.
Be aware of how your skull sits on the top vertebrae, straight, your chin tucked slightly in, your breastbone slightly raised.
Position in life really is everything. Just getting into this position and holding it, using a little effort but no strain, muscles engaged to keep you in position, yet everything else relaxed, produces, I think, a significant proportion of the benefits of the meditation already. There's a reason traditional meditation practices use a basic position – there's a human technology involved. You should be able to feel your base – energy collects there. Chairs seem to me to introduce unnecessary confusion – you then have two bases, your backside on the chair and also your feet.
Stay in this position for five minutes a day – if you can manage it then longer, for as long as you like. Keep your attention on your posture, on relaxing your muscles and everything between them, the whole fascia (the connective tissues in the body), try to soften and relax everything. It doesn't really matter how you do this.